TED. Sigh.
Once upon a time, I had a mental list of things i wanted to do in life.
Be at TED, shortlist at the Booker, Win the Nobel Peace.
The good news is, One down, two to go!
The bad news is, once you taste TED, you convert it into a recurring event on your calendar.
I was introduced to TED by a close friend/colleague of mine, who I started a nonprofit with once upon a time. He used to follow all the talks, and wax eloquent about all the things TED is doing.
So when he sent me the TED fellows application, I started filling it up in all sincerity. With my name and address, and then aided by my short attention span, I forgot all about it, till he reminded me one day before the deadline.
So i hurried through it, knowing fully well it was a shot in the dark and I would never make it anyway - and sent in my application an hour after deadline with an apology note attached.
Two months later, i receive a mail from Logan (who is the goddess managing the TED fellows program) saying -
“We are thrilled to offer you a TED fellowship.
Please reply and confirm that you accept this fellowship”
WTF. Firstly, they accepted me? And secondly, who in the right mind would say ‘No, im sorry logan, i dont accept this fellowship’.
Obviously this must have been a letter sent out in error to all the jokers (namely me) who applied, so before they realize the faux pas, I quickly replied saying ‘I ACCEPT I ACCEPT I ACCEPT’, hoping that my enthusiasm would mask any recanting of this acceptance email.
So, after many somersaults, and tolerating the disbelieving guffaws of my friends/family - I landed up on Nov 3rd for my shuttle to be taken to Infosys Mysore. I should also mention that its my incredible luck that the sum total TED would end up paying for my travel would be Rs.500 ($10). Sigh, why couldnt have TEDIndia be held a little farther than my home!
I landed up hungry, due to a previous agreement with the wonderful pastry chef Kishi Arora who promised a bunch of us Fellows, breakfast on the shuttle. Id pored through the fellows booklet previously and was glad to recognize many of the fellows in our shuttle.
Meeting the TED fellows was the best part of the entire experience for me.
Philosophically, it felt like we’d all hung out in a previous life (mostly around some fire keeping warm in the ice age)
Metaphorically, it felt like birds flocking together.
Actually, it felt f%$king awesome to meet all these amazing people.
It would be impossible to describe all the 4 days without slobbering all over myself, so I shall follow boring convention and bullet point my favorite moments and not so favorite moments.
Like always, the bad news first :-)
Not so favorites -
India Shining - Give me a break! At TEDIndia I got an overdose of India Shining. There were hardly anyone giving us the skinny on what is really happening in India - way too much sugar coating. Much like Africa, India is at an important tipping point. IMHO, there was more to be learnt from the TED fellows than any of the main stage speakers.
Most people speaking would have given any activist worth their salt, the heebee jeebies.
RA Mashelkar - I barfed a little when I saw R.A. Mashelkar, yes, the one and only R.A.Mashelkar, going on and on about the Tatas. An unforgettable mental image was the huge screen behind showing a picture of Ratan Tata, and Mashelkar in front of it glorifying Ratan to high heaven.
Dude, cmon - YOU’RE Mashelkar. Your personal story is inspirational. Your work with the CSIR and Intellectual property is worth a TED talk. Not giving us jazz about the Tatas.
Could it be because of your appointment as a director of Tata Motors? Never mind.
Srivatsa Krishna - I continue to barf. Something disturbs me deeply about the man and his talk. The factual inaccuracies, the incomprehensible slides, the godawful butter that he layered on the audience - sick.
His talk would have worked perfectly for attracting dollar investment from an audience of Foreign investors. Not at TED.
After his talk, i went upto the man and asked him - ‘How does Civil society involve itself with the bureaucracy to grow this country?’ His exact words were - ‘Im wearing a jacket and I cant climb these steps cuz i will get all sweaty. I will take the elevator. Bye’.
Nuff said.
New money - TED is such a cool place, that billionaires, celebrities, and super smart successful people hang out with their guards down. And in such an environment, the norm is that egos are left at home.
Such an environment can be hell to those who are used to a life of ego massages.
It was hilarious to watch such people struggle with existential questions like - ‘Why is no one sucking upto me?’ ‘Im important, look at me look at me’ ‘Pitch me dammit, dont you want a piece of my moneypie’ ‘Talk to me, bask in my awesomeness’
Noticeable was how their behavior would change when you showed a little recognition.
Favorites - in no particular order except the first -
Meeting the fellows. My absolute favorite part of TED. The first thing one would notice is how accomplished each one of them were! These guys were doing everything! CEOs, Photographers, Filmmakers, Chefs, Racecar designers, Writers, Doctors, Professors - these fellows covered every profession, putting the cool into everything mundane about the world!
The one common thread was all these fellows were working on something fundamental and revolutionary. Did i mention how nice each fellow was? I could write pages about each one of them and how much i love them, but im kinda lazy you see.
Sunitha Krishnan - She left not a dry eye in the house. Nuff said.
Kiran Bir Sethi -Beautiful woman - check. Macbook - check. Prezi - check. Revolutionary Educationist - check. Whats not to love about her? After her talk, i went upto her and asked her if i could marry her.
FYI - shes married with 2 children, and if i continue to press, her husband will come after me with his billiards sticks.
If i had joined Kiran’s Riverside school when I was a kid, I would have conquered the universe by now.
Shaffi Mather - a TED fellow and a featured speaker on the main TED stage - true revolutionary. His talk about building a business model around busting bribes was goosebump worthy. Id like a Prime Minister like Shaffi.
Usha Uthup - I understood why shes called a Living legend. Indefatigable energy, she had the whole audience on their feet and dancing. Including Mr.Two left feet.
Abhay deol mentioning Irom Sharmila. Wow, my respect for him went up many notches. Gives us hope that Bollywood can make sense in the hands of people like Abhay.
The TED Parties - Tanking up on an otherwise dry event - the parties were an amazing way to meet other TEDsters with all our guards down. The Afterparties - even better.
Defiling the Infosys ban on vices. Muhahaha. Too much fun. Cannot go into details here, but rest assured, I was upto my old tricks with new friends who brought their old tricks along.
My Pakistani buddies. There was this one moment when we were chilling, and a sudden realization hit us - We cant hang out every weekend, and im not sure whens the next time im going to see them! Very very emotional.
Sandeep Sood closing TED with his song and all we fellows jumping up on stage and singing with him. Now thats a sweet memory - Kodak moment.
In conclusion -
Together we laughed, we cried, we got exhausted, we had a blast, we got inspired, we got motivated, we had such a great time together.
This article is as incomplete as it can get, since i have so much more to say. But then id have to write a book. And did i mention earlier, that im lazy?
